Today is a day of sadness...

Today, life as I know it, is sad. I feel the cold breeze of remorse and pain blow through the office as my co workers ache for their friend. Since I've only been here a little over 5 months, I haven't had the priviledge to know Patricia the way the rest do. I look into their eyes as they reminence about her and begin to feel the well in my own eyes gather because I am so moved by their sadness. Life. It's unfair at times. It's unfair that such a beautiful, God loving woman could all of a sudden, with no signs of trouble, be diagnosed w/stage 4 lung cancer that has already matasized to her liver. Unfair. I long to comfort my people... I just don't know how.

I find myself struggling with my own sadness, which now feels so selfish and minute compared to this greater grief that infects my surroundings. I'm getting married in 9days, but I am completely lacking the joy. Where's the excitement? All I want to do is run away. Not from the love of my life, but from this ultimate blanket of sadness that drapes over everything I love.